


Like Always

by FutureJetBlackHearts (MyLovelyHopefulLifetoLive)



Category: 5 Seconds of Summer (Band)
Genre: Amnesia, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-26
Updated: 2016-07-26
Packaged: 2018-07-26 21:36:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7591315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyLovelyHopefulLifetoLive/pseuds/FutureJetBlackHearts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Another breakup, another heartache, another knock on your best friend Michael’s Clifford front door. What will it take for you to realize that the one person mising in your life has been in front of you all along? Based on the track Amnesia by 5 Seconds of Summer</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like Always

What were you doing here?  
You just couldn’t come  
Not after what had happened  
Not in this solid rain  
Not in this ungodly hour of the morning  
But especially, not at his house.

But then again, he was your last resort, like always. You needed him. Michael was…. everything.

“(Y/N). It’s three in the morning, what are you doing here?” Michael spoke, in a groggy sleepy-like voice while rubbing his eyes with the palm of his hand, dressed in nothing but his black boxers, no doubt surprised to see you at this hour, drenched from head to toe.

“Um, hi Michael” responding very shyly, you dropped your head down, suddenly feeling very ashamed of your sudden instinctive move.

“Hey (Y/N). I’m not upset at you okay?” he said, understanding your body language better than anyone else you know. “I’m just surprised. You mind telling me what’s going on?”

At the sound of his concerning tone, you felt compelled to tell him every part of the saga. Michael put you in a calm state, it seemed. Like always.

“Matt and I broke up. …Again… And I didn’t know what to do so I….. I came here and thought you could help me but it’s not the right time and-”  
Not having enough time to finish your sentence, you felt Michael’s hands cradle your head, stroking your hair and bring you closer to his chest, suddenly feeling ten times warmer.

“Come on (Y/N). Let’s get inside. It’s cool here and you’re all wet. We’ll talk it out, I promise”

Following him inside, still with your head on his chest, you looked into his eyes and saw concern in them.

Nothing but concern for you.

10 minutes later and you found yourself in his bedroom, sitting on his cozy marine bedspread, the technological console smiling at you. Getting lost in your deepest thoughts, you remembered the far too many times you had beat Michael at Mario Kart and how victorious you felt. You hadn’t even realized you were smiling at the memories. A few band posters covered the walls but it wasn’t aggressive. His guitars were resting against the rack against the back wall and a few world trinkets as well as picture frames were scattered across the room.

Even though you knew it was there, it still shocked you every time. His desk held a picture of a silly selfie you had taken during a concert, him kissing your cheek while you scrunched up your face, pretending to be disgusted. It did kind of look like you were a couple, judging by how close you were but everybody knew that you were just friends, best friends at that. 

Countless times you’ve been in this familiar situation. Binge-Friday Netflix nights, where you both watch equal amounts of Supernatural and Game of Thrones episodes together while eating gross amounts of junk food. And if the time lets it, although it’s rare, continue watching Fairy Tail or other random animes that you could find. Or better yet, play very clumsy games of Just Dance, but, your favourite is being asked to play very competitive games of Destiny. Which you always end up losing, but winning does occur, though very rarely. Despite losing, you always go back for more.

So why did this feel… Bad? No, peculiar. Not it wasn’t that either. Why did this situation feel…  
Strange.

Yes, that’s is. Strange. Strange as in there was something different about this ordeal. Perhaps it was the fact that you were wearing his clothing, oversized jumper and cotton joggers because yours were drying. No, that wouldn’t be it either. You’ve worn-sometimes even stolen- his clothing plenty of times, at bonfires, at concerts and plenty of other times. You felt super comfy in it and often found yourself taking a sniff. Who wouldn’t? It was so relaxing and interesting.  
Which is why you found yourself doing the exact same thing. Bringing the black material up to your nose, you let your nostrils fill with Michael’s signature scent. Slight cologne, musk, minimal body odour, watermelon and of course man, that is. As weird as it may sound, it wasn’t as bad as people thought. So you continued breathing in the wonderful scent.

But not before you were rudely interrupted.

(Y/N). Sorry for the delay. Hot chocolate’s ready! What are you doing?“

Recognizing the all too familiar voice, you looked up from your position to find Michael holding a tray filled with food and two glasses but not without a slight curious expression framing his face.

"I… I…” You began your explanation by stuttering, just more than embarrassed to be caught in such an act. It isn’t such a good commencement but you trust yourself and began again. “I…I…I…”, you repeat, only to be left in the same steps as before, if not worse. So much for starting again, right?

“Because it looks like you were smelling my hoodie” Michael says, sitting next to you on the bed, slightly raising an eyebrow but not seeming more preoccupied by it. In fact, you were quite certain a small smirk was forming near the corners of his mouth.

That put you at ease so you decided to tell him the whole truth, as weird as that might be. “ Actually, I was. It’s just that the smell calms me down”

“My ugly smell calms you down? (Y/N) (Y/L/N), you have got to be one of the weirdest people I know "he replies, his face filled with surprise, confusion, embarrassment and the slightest smile.

"Well, I might be one of the weirdest people you know but I’m also your best friend!” you shoot back, trying to defend yourself with the comeback that always seems to work no matter the situation.

“Yes, unfortunately” With a sore voice, crossed arms, rolled green eyes and a loud exaggerated exhale, that’s how Michael responded. It wasn’t so much his irky words that bothered you but more his presentation.

“Hey!” in a less than pleased voice and with tense fists, you let out your true thoughts and brought the dark haired boy back to reality.

As he pronounced his next words, relief washed over your body. "I’m kidding (Y/N)! You’re my best friend. I could never ever think that of you" In an instant, he was back to being his childish and nerdy self again. With that being in mind, your situation turned back to normal. Except for the slight noises coming from both of your drinking, silence filled the room. It wasn’t what you’d call awkward but more like comforting. A silence that only best friends could understand.

Until his voice broke the silence

“Did you really believe me”?

To avoid showing any visible signs of embarrassment on your face, you dropped your head to your chest, finding some sort of shelter there. Still under shyness’ effect, your brain couldn’t process the words right away. As for your throat, it wasn’t working for some reason either. Even though everything was finally working at the end, all you managed to say was a feeble and shaky “yeah”

Despite your barely intelligible words, Michael had heard. A huge cocky smile stretched across his lips and an excited burst of energy overwhelmed him. But it wasn’t unnatural, nothing you hadn’t seen before.

“Really? I was that good? You actually believed that? Maybe I should always do that… who knows make a career out of it. What do you think (Y/N)? "Speaking in an excited, almost high-pitched voice, Michael let out phrase after phrase like a bullet, like his life was depending on it.

Taking into consideration the fact that he had asked your opinion, you quickly created a wise reply,-not having the time to make it obvious – that was perfectly apt of calming him down.

In your most stern voice, you spoke confidently but without being too egoistical and sure enough, nothing could have prepared him for your future response. You couldn’t help but be proud of your words

"Michael, I think it’s time to shut up now”

“Ouch” Replying in what sounded like a genuinely hurt voice, Michael had placed his hand over his heart, trying to show you how offended he was by your argument. But being friends with him for so long, you knew he was only teasing.

“But true” still speaking in your most stern voice, you continued on that path. But surprisingly, it didn’t take him long to give up the fight.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right” Michael responded in his usual set tone, shrugging his shoulders, brushing off the whole situation, something he did well.  
Another wave of the same silence erupted once again. Still filled with the same drinking noises and comfort.

Until you both looked at each other, smiled and shared some sort of mind-reading.

“Best friends?” you both asked in a seeking tone, despite knowing the answer already. Sometimes, just hearing it was wonderful. 

Less than two seconds had passed before you spoke at the same time, in the same tone, thinking the same thing, no doubt agreeing.

“Like always”

Not too long after, you both had finished your drinks. Offering to get you some more, because he wanted some as well, Michael had picked up the glasses, climbed off the bed and walked towards the kitchen. He left you in the same state as before, just now it felt a thousand times stronger.

You knew what the next step was.

You just weren’t ready to face it yet.  
-  
“What do you mean you don’t know?! ”

Michael was angry. After jumping off the bed at your response, you had thought somebody else had taken over his body. A loud-almost growling- voice had replaced his usual tone, his arms were crossed across his chest, his breathing was heavy and he was standing straighter and taller than normal. Barely anybody knew he was able to do become this and in all honesty, you didn’t like it.

“I don’t know, okay?” still taken back by fear, you unconsciously build a wall. Retorting in an annoyed voice, you put an accent on your last word, changed your position on the bed to crossed-legged and finally crossed your arms against your chest, just like Michael.  
But you didn’t expect what came next. Nobody could have.

“You keep on telling me the same things over and over again! We’re not getting further, are we? (Y/N), I let you inside my home at three o’clock in the morning to talk and this is how you repay me? You can’t do this to me or anyone(Y/N), best friends or not!” Michael didn’t growl now. No, this time it was a full on offended and annoyed scream that scared the hell out of you. You had never seen this before and you couldn’t help but feel like this was caused by you.

So you did the next best thing. Defending yourself. It was your only shot, even though it might not work in this situation. Still, you took a deep breath, built up enough courage and let the words spill out of your mouth.

“No, Michael! It’s not that I don’t know. It’s all messed up in my head right now and I can’t find the words to express it”  
Only to be brought down again

“ Whatever(Y/N). Just tell me when you’re ready to talk about it. In the meantime, why don’t we listen to music? It might get clear your head”

You didn’t answer right away because well, you couldn’t. After realizing you had put Michael in such an angry state, you produced a fear, guilt and embarrassed induced gulp. Dropping your head down to your chest again, you only produced a necessary throaty “yeah”. You felt there was nothing else to be said.  
Still standing, Michael approached you but only it was only to get his phone off the bedside table. You shared stares for a few seconds but quickly looked away because it didn’t feel normal. He marched over to his desk, where the docking station was placed and gruffly plugged in the device. Despite his surprising behaviour, you tried your best to calm down and focus on the upcoming music.

As soon as the first few familiar notes of Amnesia echoed across the room, your mouth and eyes opened wide, your heart started beating faster and you found yourself in a general surprised state. You didn’t know if Michael had chosen the song randomly or if it was planned. But there was one thing you knew, this was one of your favorite songs and even though the content behind it was genuinely sad, it always seemed to put in a calm state.

You would never think that it had to power to do what happened next.

Michael at this point was sitting on his desk chair, completely out of it and lost inside another imaginary world. You on the other hand, placed your head against the pillows and your hands across your stomach, just taking in the familiar deep but beautiful lyrics.  
I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted

It had only happened a few weeks ago but you couldn’t resist going back. After all, lots of memories had been created there and nothing could beat that oddly proud feeling of seeing your friends drunk. 

I drove by all the places we used to hang out getting wasted

The orange-yellow fire crackled softly before you. A whole crowd of people were sitting on wooden logs, sometimes even on each other, depending on the available space. You were one of the lucky ones, sitting comfortably by yourself, your boyfriend’s arms wrapped around you, his mouth nuzzling your ear every once in a while.

“Who’s ready for some shots?”

The person who had said that couldn’t be anyone else but your boyfriend’s best friend. He was always the party animal, the hyperactive one. To be honest, you were quite surprised he hadn’t asked the moment you got here. Maybe he has matured. Or maybe not.

Automatically, almost half of the people had lined up at the makeshift bar, each wanting a taste of the liquor. Instead of going up with your boyfriend, you decided to stay back and let him go alone. You weren’t upset, alcohol wasn’t your thing, that’s all.

You couldn’t forget how the night ended. It was embedded in your mind. Singing bad drunken version of 80’s hits, telling ridiculous stories and being together.  
I thought about our last kiss, how it felt, the way you tasted

I thought about our last kiss, how it felt, the way you tasted

“Can I kiss you?”

At the sound of those gentle words, you blushed and smiled. Even though he asked you the same thing every time he randomly wanted to kiss you, it amazed you every time. This man was so considerate, he wanted to ask you for permission first. How special you felt!

Instead of giving him a verbal answer like you expected, you just lifted up your head, puckered your lips and soon his warm lips were colliding with yours.  
And even though your friends tell me you’re doing fine

And even though your friends tell me you’re doing fine

“She’s fine Michael. Don’t worry about her. She’s good”

That was a lie! You heard his voice trough the phone. You wanted to tell him everything, the whole story. How nothing was going right, how you felt depressed, how you didn’t see the point in loving any one anymore. You would have done anything to rip out that phone of your friend’s hands and told him everything. Sadly, you were incapable of doing so.

“Are you sure? he had insisted this time, just wanting to know if he had missed anything or if he could do anything to help.

"She’s fine, Michael. Stop worrying so much”

Yes, incapable

Are you somewhere feeling lonely even though he’s right beside you?

You didn’t even know why he had invited you. Glancing down at your half-empty glass of whatever, you even wondered why you accepted the invitation. A night filled with countless games of GTA and Call of Duty… that wasn’t something you’d call couple-like. This was clearly a boy’s night. Not a couple’s night.

“Come here, babe. I need my lucky charm to sit next to me”

Silently groaning, you took a seat next to him on the brown couch and wondered why you couldn’t be at home doing something more productive… That’s also when you realized you felt lonely. 

When he says those words that hurt you do you read the ones I wrote you?

Hi (Y/N),  
It’s Michael, but you know that already. I just wanted to let you know that you’re the best friend anyone could ask for. That you’re the best of the best. You’re so cool, generous, lively, strong and beautiful that it kind of makes me jealous. Do you know how hard it is to admit that? Watching Netflix, listening to crappy music, going to concerts, watching you fail(sometimes), failing together and spending time together is what keeps me going. And I’ll never stop doing that, you can be sure. So yeah, I just thought I’d remind you. Love you, Mikey

Despite your non-stop tears, you managed to keep a smile while reading the old piece of paper. Despite everything that had happened to you, Mikey was always there to pick you up when you needed it the most. And for that, you were most grateful.

Sometimes I start to wonder was it just a lie?  
If what we had was real, how could you be fine?  
Cos I’m not fine at all

“I don’t get it, Michael. We were dating for more than a year and suddenly he says we don’t have anything in common anymore and that taking a break might be the best thing! After a year! And he said it like it was nothing. Like breaking up with the person you spent a year with doesn’t mean anything anymore! It doesn’t make sense, Michael. It just doesn’t. Was he using me? Was this whole thing a lie?”

Bringing your head to his chest, Michael caressed your hair while speaking in the softest way possible, trying his best to calm you down despite the stressful situation. “I know it hurts. I know it’s not fair. I know(Y/N), I know. He doesn’t know what he’s missing out on, I can tell you that much”

“No, Mikey. I’m sorry for screaming. It’s just… I’m the furthest thing from fine right now” you manage to say in between sobs, still pressing your head against his chest. Luckily for you, Michael didn’t have to say anything but just continued stroking your hair. That was enough to calm you down. His presence was enough to calm you down.

I remember the day you told me you were leaving,  
I remember the makeup running down your face,  
And the dreams you left behind you didn’t need them,  
Like every single wish we ever made.

I don’t think this is going to work out(Y/N). I mean we’re clearly not on the same level of commitment and we don’t want the same things anymore. I think its best we break up. You know, go our separate ways, work on ourselves. You know, someday down the road we might meet up again. It’s not you, it’s me… “  
You were absolutely heartbroken. No words were coming out of your mouth but your boyfriend could clearly see your emotions. Mascara was leaking down your face, blotches forming randomly. 

Suddenly, all the pent up anger from the betrayal and disappointment couldn’t wait to be released and that’s when you found yourself barking at him. More than you were used to. Your words came out loud and clear, your upset tone almost blowing him away.

"You’re breaking up with me? What happened to our plans, Matt? What happened to you and me getting married someday and having kids? What happened to wanting to travel the world with only a backpack? What happened to all the ” I love you’s". What happened to all of that Matt? Tell me! “

"You know, it’s not you, it me. It wasn’t meant to be. We don’t see things the same way and…”

You didn’t even hear the second part of the obnoxious phrase, just hearing the first few words were hurtful enough. That was when you realized you didn’t want to see him again, you didn’t want to do anything with him.

“Bullshit! You manipulated me, you lied to me and we’re done, I never want to see you again! ”

Screaming at the loudest of your capacities in his face, you stomped right past him, slamming the door shut, leaving him in a shocked state. But you didn’t care. You guys were done.

I wish that I could wake up with amnesia,  
And forget about the stupid little things,  
Like the way it felt to fall asleep next to you,  
And the memories I never can escape,

“(Y/N). There had to be something good about your relationship. I mean, you did have some good memories with him, no? Kisses, laughs, fun times, no? ” he had asked, trying to lighten up your anxious self.

“No, Michael. I don’t want to remember anything. I just want to wake up with amnesia. I want to forget about everything we ever did together. All the stupid things together. All the laughs, all the kisses, all the hugs, when we woke up next to each other. They were lies Michael! Lies! I don’t want to remember them at all! They’re not good for me! I don’t want to remember anything anymore, Michael! I don’t want to remember anything!” you spoke at a fast pace, screaming out each word,  
repeating a few over and over again just because it felt right and you needed someone to talk to.

The pictures that you sent me they’re still living in my phone,  
I’ll admit I like to see them, I’ll admit I feel alone,

“Why do you still have pictures if you’re not together anymore?” your best friend had asked you, peeking over your phone screen, slightly curious.

“It’s because I feel alone okay? So, don’t get upset at me!” your words hadn’t made much sense to your friend but in your head they had. Even though he had hurt you, looking at old pictures felt nice.

If only you knew you weren’t alone in this.

And all my friends keep asking why I’m not around.

“Hey Michael. You know where (Y/N) is? "another of your friends had asked, wondering why you weren’t there.

"Sorry, dude. (Y/N) won’t make it tonight. She said she’s not up to it” Michael had replied, slight hurt and sadness in his voice. He tried his best to help you through this and he considered his help some sort of success but it still pained to see him in your actual state.

It hurts to know you’re happy, and it hurts that you’ve moved on.  
It’s hard to hear your name when I haven’t seen you in so long.

You felt betrayed, hurt and maybe slightly jealous. It’d been less than a month and he already found someone new. Someone with nicer hair, a more toned body, a bright personality… basically everything you didn’t think you’d have in you. You felt as if you had been played all along by a bastard. Secretly, you knew you were right.

“Come on be happy for Matt(Y/N). Yes he’s found somebody different and it’s hard but he’s happy and so should you. You said it yourself, it wasn’t meant to be, there’s another person out there for you. A better person, a person like…”.

The song had continued playing, the chorus repeating the same content but you didn’t hear it, too busy repeating Michael’s last words in your head “there’s another person out there for you. A better person, a person like…”, “there’s another person out there for you. A better person, a person like…”, “there’s another person out there for you. A better person, a person like…”.

After hearing it for the third and final time, you understood.

That’s when you realized it. That’s when it hit you, solid like a ton of bricks. 

“there’s another person out there for you. A better person, a person like…

Michael.

Who was there when you needed him the most? Who was there when you were crying and he comforted you? Who was the one who always supported your projects and never rejected you? Who was the one… Who was your everything?

Michael.

Suddenly stumbling off the bed, a nervous and instinctive energy serving as fuel, you realized that this was more than friendship. Those playful nicknames and touches weren’t considered friendly. Those urges, kissing, holding hands, being called a couple weren’t unnatural either. This thing you had with Michael wasn’t friendship, it was something more.

And you were about to show him.

With no hesitation you approached Michael who was still lost in his own world and straddled his hips, and kissed him hard. Your lips smashed against his. But sadly there wasn’t any answer from him. Being slightly disappointed, you began climbing off his lap, feeling like the stupidest person on the planet, showing off your emotions like that.

But that when everything’s changed.

As your lips left Michael’s, you felt his right hand clutch your back, dragging you back to your initial position. This time, your lips joined together in a warm and natural way, like the way it was meant to be. You even felt his lips curve into a smile as feeling giddy about this, you did the same.  
After what felt like an eternity of kissing, you both pulled back, gasping for air. Michael’s face was filed with shock. His eyes and his mouth wide open, making you wonder why. Wasn’t he the one who pulled you back for a kiss?

"What? Am I a bad kisser? Because maybe we shouldn’t… you know. I could work on that.. you know to get better” you babbled, not quite knowing what to say, now that this happened.

He shushed you with a peck.

“You’re not a bad kisser. Probably the best one I’ve ever known.. Just why now? ” he replied with the brightest face you’ve ever seen him with but mixed in with slight curiosity.

“Because while listening to Amnesia, I realized that I was an idiot and that you were there all along. That what we have is more than friendship. And that you were the one I should have been with all along. And not Matt …” you continued babbling but your words had reason now and you felt confident in them. Because they were absolutely true.

“I feel the same way, (Y/N). I’ve always felt that way about you” Michael replied in a confident voice but the rest of his appearance said otherwise. His face was covered in a slight red tint and a shy expression framed his face. But that was Michael for you. Always building up a wall.

You were about to respond with the same words but didn’t even have enough time because he was pushing you back into his chest again, pressing your lips to his and meshing your lips into long overdue kisses.

Like the way it should always be

Like Always.


End file.
